How To Cure Your Porn Addiction – For Good
[The Complete Guide part 2]
Welcome to part 2 of the Complete Guide to Curing Porn Addiction.
If you've been struggling to cure porn addiction this is the guide you've been looking for.
There is a lot of content for us to cover so we're going to dive right in. If you missed the first part it's really important that you go back and read that now (link).
As always, if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out and let us know. To cure porn addiction, you're going to need to put in some serious work. It won't be easy but it will be worth it.
Ready to quit porn for good?
If you're sick and tired of being addicted to porn we've built the ultimate course to help you. You CAN fight porn and you can do it from home.
In this section we are going to talk about Erectile Dysfunction Disorder and Female Sexual Dysfunction. Even if you don’t suffer from Erectile Dysfunction Disorder or Female Sexual Dysfunction it’s important to understand it because it’s so common.
Erectile Dysfunction Disorder
Erectile dysfunction disorder, EDD, is when a man cannot get an erection or cannot get an erection hard enough to have sex. There are lots of reasons for which this can take place and those reasons are broken up into two categories: medical and psychosocial influences. Physically, if there are underlying health issues that affect the arteries or nerves the result can be EDD. In the next section, I will talk to you about the importance of getting a physical check-up to rule out any underlying physical issues.
EDD can also be a psychosocial response and we will also talk about mental health a little later. It’s critical to know that EDD is not always either or. Sometimes it can be both; physical and psychosocial. For example, someone could suffer from heart disease and anxiety.
When it comes to porn, EDD is likely the cause of the viewing of porn. Remember when we talked about the dopamine response?
Many porn viewers start off watching basic porn and then when that becomes boring they look for more interesting or exciting things porn videos (fetishes, etc.) It’s a cycle that is constantly trying to one-up, similar to a drug or alcohol tolerance. When this happens, the porn viewing ends up be so far from reality that when real sex comes around, there’s absolutely no comparison between the two. Real sex is boring - at least that’s what your brain is telling you. This is a psycho-social response and is why it becomes difficult to get and maintain an erection.
The good news is, is that EDD is completely treatable. First, you’ll want to see if quitting porn gives you good results, while ruling out physical and mental health struggles. If quitting porn doesn’t solve your EDD, then you can talk about treatment with your doctor.
Female Sexual Dysfunction
Female Sexual Dysfunction is different than EDD. Female Sexual Dysfunction is lack of interest in sex and/or when a woman is unable to reach an orgasm. A woman doesn’t need an erection in order to have sexual intercourse like men do so oftentimes women find themselves hiding or trying to cover up their symptoms due to embarrassment or not wanting to hurt their partner’s feelings.
Similar to erectile dysfunction disorder though, there are two categories that can cause female sexual dysfunction: physical and/or emotional. Notice how I say and/or because oftentimes it can be both.
From a physical sense, oftentimes it can be hormone related especially if the woman just had a baby or is pregnant. However, there could be other physical causes like undiagnosed health related issues and in the next section I will be talking about the importance of seeing a doctor to rule out anything medical related.
From an emotional or psychosocial perspective, if a woman suffers from any mental health related problems or past trauma perhaps then, this can be a cause and will need to be treated.
A likely cause of female sexual dysfunction, if you are a woman addicted to porn, is the porn addiction itself. Once you stop viewing porn, your sexual performance and desires should improve. However, it’s important to work through this guide to understand the importance of getting your physical and mental health checked out as you progress through the guide.
Extra Resources and Readings
Underlying Health Problems
In this section we are going to talk about the importance of your physical health and ruling out any medical concerns.
There is a call to action about making a doctor’s appointment for a complete physical check-up.
The Physical Body
We talked about erectile dysfunction disorder and female sexual dysfunction. Even if you do not experience either of these, it’s important that you continue with this part of the book. Your physical health plays a major role in how well and fast you can enter a fully recovered state.
I was working with a client once who had a sexual addiction. He was abstaining from sex and it had been a few weeks but he stated that he didn’t understand what was going on because he felt so tired and lethargic. In the past, when he was tired or feeling sort of just bummed he would masturbate or watch porn because it would perk him up and make him feel good - remember the lecture about the dopamine? It makes sense right? Well I ended up having him go to his general practitioner, GP, and they did a basic check up with some blood work and it turns out that he had an autoimmune disease. It got me thinking about how many other people who struggle in recovery may have an undiagnosed physical condition that is causing their lack of motivation or ability to feel okay. Maybe there’s a thyroid issue or hormone problem.
Taking care of your body starts with understanding your baseline and ruling out health conditions.
Getting a Physical Check-up - Make the Appointment Now
I would encourage everyone who is reading this guide to get a physical check up from their doctor. I know that life gets in the way and it’s not typically a priority but it’s important because you really want to be sure you are operating at the highest physical level you can.
If you have a GP just make the call - tell them you have been feeling a bit off lately and just want to get a physical or checkup with blood work. You don’t have to tell them anything else. Most insurance companies will cover the majority of the cost. If you don’t have insurance then I would recommend calling around to various doctors, urgent cares, or health clinics. If everything is normal you’ll have the peace of mind going forward.
If something comes up then you’ll know and understand a little more about your body and you and your doctor can discuss treatment.
Extra Resources and Readings
Mental Health
This section is about mental health. We’ll talk about whether or not you’ll need to see a mental health professional and the different types of professionals.
Mental Health and Porn Addiction
When I work with people who are addicted to drugs and alcohol and also have a mental health diagnosis, I refer to them as having what is called a co-occurring disorder. This is an official diagnoses when someone has a substance use disorder as well as a mental health disorder.
There is not such term when referring to behavior addictions such as porn, gambling, eating and so on. But that doesn’t mean the concept behind the diagnosis is not the same.
You see, like the chicken and egg theory we talked about earlier, it also applies to co-occurring disorders as well. Do people turn to drugs and alcohol because they have an undiagnosed mental health struggle or do they have a mental health struggle caused by drugs and alcohol?
Think of your porn addiction in the same way. Do you have a mental health diagnosis or suspect you may have a mental health disorder? Do you turn to porn to escape something else that may be going on? Or, do you think you may have a mental health disorder that is caused by watching too much porn? Not everyone knows what came first but it really doesn’t matter. What matters is that if you struggle with anything mental health related, your addiction to porn will never be cured if you do not treat your mental health at the same time.
This guide is here to treat and cure your porn addiction.
It is not designed to diagnose and treat anything else so if you are struggling with depression, anxiety, a mood disorder, etc.
It is possible that those symptoms will go away after your porn addiction is treated but that’s not always the case. If you have something else going on, you will always be looking for ways to self medicate. You know yourself more than anyone and it’s up to you on whether or not you see a mental health professional.
I will have many readers who will be able to break free from their addiction by reading this guide but some may need a mental health professional to help them as well, at the same time. If you are unsure, what I suggest you do is get through the first 30 days and see how you feel. If you feel significant improvement then great! If not, there may be something else, other than an addiction to porn going on and it would be critical at that point to make the appointment.
When to See a Counselor or Therapist
Now that we’ve talked about mental health, it’s important to consider all of your options if you feel like you are struggling and need to see a professional. There are different types of mental health professionals. Let’s break this down so you can make the best decision for you.
A psychiatrist is a doctor who prescribes medication. You must have a mental health diagnosis in order to get the medication you need. For example, someone who is diagnosed with depression can go to a psychiatrist to get an antidepressant. While psychiatrists do ask some questions, the appointments are typically short and more about how your medication is or isn’t working.
A psychologist is a doctor who studies mental health processes. A psychologist will observe, record, and interpret human behavior. If you see a psychologist they will give you their professional opinion and interpretation of your situation and likely use your information to further research. Some psychologists will work with clients directly to provide psychotherapy.
A therapist is someone who provides a certain type of therapy. So think of a massage therapist providing massage therapy. When it comes to mental health, therapists are called psychotherapists and can provide the same kind of therapy that psychologists do but psychotherapists are less about research and more about providing specialized therapy.
A counselor is someone who provides guidance rather than therapy. They counsel their patients based on their struggles that are presented during counseling. Most people who struggle with mental health often start with a counselor.
A Peer Support Specialist is someone who unofficially counsels you in a non-office or non-clinical setting. Peer Support Specialists are people who have experienced the same problem and help others by using their own experiences as guidance.
If you feel like you need to see a mental health professional the first step is to find a counseling center or an agency that can provide an evaluation. Having a professional mental health evaluation can point you in the direction of what kind of professional support would be best for you.
Extra Resources and Readings
Ready to quit porn for good?
If you're sick and tired of being addicted to porn we've built the ultimate course to help you. You CAN fight porn and you can do it from home.
How Much Time do You Spend Watching Porn?
In this section you will be logging your porn watching time honestly. After a week you’ll come back to this section and we’ll talk about what you are going to do with the data you gathered.
This section will take approximately 8 days to complete. 7 of those days are just logging time so there will not be any reading or journaling until you have gathered your 7 days of information.
Logging Your Time
The amount of time you spend watching porn is probably even more than what you estimate. Like any addiction, there’s always a certain amount of denial even if you’re fully on board and ready to go. I want you to get serious now and take a look at the actual amount of time you spend watching porn.
For one full week, I want you to keep a porn journal and log the time you start and stop. This activity is about being honest with yourself.
Remember, you don’t have to show anyone so you don’t have to worry about that. The most important thing is being true to yourself. Go ahead and bookmark this guide then and log your time for a week. After the week is over come back to the guide and reflect on the things you learned.
See you in a week.
Reflection and What you can do Instead
Hello and welcome back! So it’s been a week and you have filled out your log.
Did anything surprise you about the amount of time you spent watching porn?
First, think about your current relationships; your partner, your children, your parents, friends, family, your boss, your colleagues. When you struggle with an addiction it’s important to work on repairing relationships that may be struggling, especially if you have a partner or spouse involved.
Second, I want you to think of something you have always wanted to accomplish? Maybe it’s education related, work related, or just a fun hobby and skill you’ve wanted to learn. Perhaps travel?
Now I want you to take the number of hours you watched porn and divide it by two. For example, if you watched 10 hours of porn last week, divided by 2 makes 5.
In your assignment at the end of this section you’ll be tasked with writing down two things you will be spending your time on so start thinking of this now.
- Relationship repairing
- Something new you’ve always wanted to accomplish
My example of 10 hours, which is a very low number for typical porn addicts, - I’ve had clients tell me they spend 5 hours per day. But, for the sake of my example, you would put:
5 hours per week: spending more time with my wife, adding an extra two hours per week at work to make up for my lost productivity, and reconnecting with my mom who I rarely call.
5 hours per week: I really wanted to learn how to play tennis so I will join a tennis club which meets for 3 hours per week and I will start working on my classic car project for two hours per week.
It’s really important when thinking about new hobbies not to get caught up in trading one addiction for another. You don’t want to trade watching porn for 10 hours each week to going to the casino for 10 hours each week or drinking alcohol for 10 hours each week.
Remember, everything is about moderation.
Extra Resources and Readings
Conclusion
You've made it! Congrats on making it through the 2nd part of our Ultimate Guide to Curing Porn Addiction. If you didn't read part 1 (shame on you!) you can quickly hop on over to read it now (Ultimate Guide to Porn Addiction - Part 1). This part of the guide was specifically designed to help you take some affirmative action and recognise how much time you're spending on porn.
Curing your porn addiction is going to take continued focus and effort on your part.
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