In just a few days (if not today!) the madness of the holidays will begin to settle in for most people. And, while I’ve talked about being prepared before, now is the time to actually utilise your strategy. What’s that? You haven’t built a strategy yet? Oh boy.

The only way you’re going to get through this period of stress is by having a good strategy upfront to avoid relapsing or hitting rock bottom. As we all know, stress is a major contributory factor in addiction/relapse so we need to be very careful to avoid it where possible.

However, that’s often easier said than done! Here are our top 3 tips this holiday season to avoid stress or triggers:

• Holiday Recovery Tip 1 – Have a plan of escape. No seriously! Think of ways that you can find to get out of situations when you absolutely need to.
• Holiday Recovery Tip 2 – Find ways to relieve stress – quickly! One tip I’ve used before is nipping off to the bathroom and doing a quick meditation on the old white porcelain can. Crude but effective.
• Holiday Recovery Tip 3 – Practice. Make sure you practice saying “no” when it counts. If you’ve practiced saying no in a ton of different ways it won’t be as much of a struggle to say no.

The holidays can be incredibly stressful but if you keep in mind those 3 easy tips then you should be good to tackle just about anything. It won’t be easy and you’re going to be challenged but recovery is about building resilience and over time it does get better.

It is so important to have a great strategy going into the holidays so that you don’t relapse or end up in situations you don’t want to be in. Research indicates a dramatic spike in the holiday season – so we definitely recommend you do something about it now to be prepared.

What has been effective or what kinds of struggles have you faced during the holiday seasons?

Before I quit cold turkey and had a very specific plan to follow, I was just like you. I’d tried a couple of times to “reduce” the amount I was drinking. I had attempted to go more than a few days without a cheeky drink. But do you know what happened?

Each time I tried this it never stuck. I remember one time specifically that I had made a promise not to drink for the month of January. It wasn’t a New Years resolution or anything but lots of people do this for the first month of the year. Can you guess how long it lasted?

3 days. Well technically I didn’t actually drink at the 3 day mark but that’s the mark when I tried to justify in my mind that this was stupid. Sound familiar? Have you ever broken a promise like this to yourself? If you have, you’re not alone.

We dive into this in Lecture 3 of our Stop Drinking Alcohol course where we talk about not having to hit rock bottom. It’s a common myth that people fall for and I hope you don’t think it has to get worse before it can get better.  If you’re still struggling with alcohol abuse and dependence now is the time to fix it.

Our course is broken down into 10 easy sections you can follow that walk through the exact steps you need to take. This isn’t some hypnosis bullshit or law of attraction type stuff. This is a hard-hitting, sobriety focused program taught by a real professional.

>> Click here to Stop Drinking Alcohol

It doesn’t matter if you drink 10 drinks a day (like I used to) or just 1-2 (like a lot of people). You can get sober from home and I promise you the results are incredible. I want you to feel like alcohol doesn’t have to run your mind or health. We’ve been exactly where you are – we know it can be done.

To your sobriety,

 

Nick

I remember the days of not being connected. For some of us, we grew up in an era (think 80’s and 90’s) where technology never really ruled our lives. I used to come home from school, jump on my bike and head out into the village I lived in. Many of us have had similar experiences I’m sure.

Back in the day technology was simply an addon or an extra. I worked in a technology superstore (think Best Buy/Circuit City if you’re American or Curry’s for you English people…) in my later teenage years. I loved technology and still do to this day. Even so, I loved my car (a 1987 Chevrolet Camaro) and enjoyed being out and about.

It wasn’t until the technology changed did the little addictions to constant connectedness appear. Before then I really didn’t give a shit. I had personal connections every single day with other people. I wasn’t waiting for a ping or a WhatsApp message. And yes, things might have been less efficient without technology.

I don’t mean to write this as a way to suggest technology is bad. In fact, I still love technology. I work with it, design with it, engage with people on it and help people in recovery on it. But, I’m also keenly aware that most of us are little addicts. When that phone buzzes we jump. When a ding goes off we run to check.

I think that if we look truly at what we have to do to be untethered from our devices we can begin to see how the little addictions of techno-culture of today closely mirror that of many drugs. Research even indicates that a little hit of dopamine floods when we check the Facebook/WhatsApp/SnapChat/Steemit/Blockchain/Mining/Gaming/PokemonGO/INSERT YOUR APP OF CHOICE HERE.

I suppose I write this because I just want you to work on building some space around the technology and it’s uses. Make sure you are intentionally connecting (pun intended) with the world in the way YOU want and not the other way round. It’s all too easy to be led around by the nose by the very devices we enjoy.

People who have grown up in an era absent of constant technology will know exactly what I’m talking about. The youth of today however will never know a world without this chain tethering us to the web. We don’t truly know the impacts of this (just like the early smokers didn’t know the true effects of nicotine) kind of world we’re building so be careful.

To your recovery,

Nick

This is an upcoming excerpt from our new course in production which is all about stopping porn addiction. If you want to get free beta access to the course before it goes on sale hit up the link and sign up. We’ll email you a special code when it goes live.

When your partner is addicted to porn

When your partner is addicted to porn it can be just as devastating for you as it is them. Porn addiction should not be treated any different than any other addiction like drugs or alcohol.

If your partner is addicted to porn the first thing you need to do is lay all the cards out on the table. Communication is important and having a conversation is where everything should start. The thing you need to know as the partner is whether or not your partner wants to stop watching porn. If they are minimizing it or if they don’t think it’s a problem then it’s important to not engage until they are ready to come to terms with the situation.

For example, many people report that if their partner is addicted to porn they just deal with it because they are afraid that their partner will turn to another person. This generally is not the case.

People who are addicted to porn do not typically go out and seek other people – that would be a sex addiction, not porn addiction. Porn addicts really just want to be left alone so they can get their fix when they feel the need. The other thing not to do is engage in any sexual acts or offer to watch porn together. This would be enabling them, giving them further ammunition and reassurance that what they are doing is okay and it’s not.

Porn Addiction – Acknowledging the Problem

On the other hand, if your partner is acknowledging their problem and wants to change then you can help them by being supportive while they find a recovery plan that works for them.

Think of their addiction like an alcohol addiction. When they are ready to stop, they’ll be okay with putting internet blockers on porn and getting rid of their paraphernalia completely. Like an alcoholic who wants to quit they would pour the alcohol down the drain. While it’s not foolproof of course because they can just go to the store and buy more, it’s a start.

I would recommend that you encourage your partner to find a program because trying to quit porn without guidance is really, really hard.

Remember, it’s important to take care of yourself through this so you can be better at helping your partner when they are ready. Self-care is not selfish, it’s a necessity.

You’ll gain a lot of knowledge in this course about the physical, emotional, and social factors that influence porn addiction.

I hope you enjoyed this snippet – let us know what you think by sending us an email. We’re always interested to know your thoughts.

To your recovery,

Nick

(some content courtesy http://www.apa.org/monitor/2014/04/pornography.aspx)

I remember when I threw away $10,000. I mean, I didn’t actually throw away $10,000 in a literal sense. It was a few years back when I was in the middle of my sobriety. I was in a pretty secure position mentally and had a decent working situation. This is when avoiding triggers becomes even more important…when you’re comfortable…

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, came along a recruiter with a job offer. Now, this offer was, as you can guess, about $10,000 more year on my salary. But, the problem was that it added a ton of unnecessary complication to my life and stress. You see stress is a major trigger for lots of people in recovery and adding more of it to my life was not a good idea.

Most people thought I was totally crazy when I told them I was going to pass. They just couldn’t wrap their why I would throw away $10,000 like that. For those of us in recovery, dealing with lower levels of stress to protect our sobriety should be a no brainer…

Sometimes I sit and think about my recovery not as a single decision or choice but as a series of courageous actions that I have to make every day. Every single little decision we make impacts the outcome of our sobriety. Avoiding triggers and decreasing the stress inputs we face daily should be a top priority.

Check out Section 6 of Lecture 19 in our Stop Drinking Alcohol course for more information on avoiding triggers.

I really encourage you to take bold, courageous action in protecting your sobriety and what you’ve worked so hard to achieve. Taking this bold action requires you to be prepared, in recovery and ready to act. Take one of our courses on recovery and addiction so you can be the best version of yourself possible.

We’re here to help in any way that we can and we’ve opened a new program for November students. For the month of November we’re giving away free courses on addiction to every day.

Simply like and share our Facebook page or Twitter and then message us. Let us know what course you want and we’ll take care of you. It’s as simple as that! We’re trying to help spread the word and we need YOUR HELP to do so!

To your recovery,

Nick

(p.s. check out our most recent Tips During Recovery video on Youtube if you haven’t already)